Anxieties

 Anxiety has many triggers

Certain names, certain smells, certain places, certain situations can act as a trigger for you.

As soon as you come across that trigger, it sends a message to the part of your brain called Amygdala.

It deals with :

1. Triggering and processing emotions.

2. Recognizing threats.

3. Associating previous memories to that threat.

4. Prepares body for fight or flight.

Now comes part of brain called Hippocampus :

1. It has all your previous memories saved.

2. It is also responsible for new learning and creativity.

As Amygdala recognizes threat, it sends a message to hippocampus to see if a similar memory is stored somewhere there.

Hippocampus is very sensitive. It is fragile. Repeated stimuli damage it, causing loss of a huge part of memory, also effects new learning abilities.

Now Anxiety is a series of constant triggers and repeated fears. A person suffering from Anxiety for a long time damages his hippocampus hence can't remember exact details of past events.

For example, you will meet a friend from school time and they will talk about the details of how you did certain activities, but you will only have a vague picture of that in mind not the details.

Similarly you will remember how a situation made you feel emotionally, but if you focus of thinking about its details you will realize that you don't remember any.

People with damage to their Hippocampus also face difficulty in memorizing and focusing on new things.

They feel clear difference in how their focus span is getting short and how they can't memorize new things for work of study (something they could do easily some years back).

So here's the scientific explanation for it.

No you are not lazy.

No its not just in your head.

It is an injury, just like any other physical one.

You need care, you need treatment.

You are not imagining it. Its real. Stop being hard on yourself please.